Special Delivery

                           

I recently read an article which said that the earliest known wedding invitation had been painted onto a cave wall in Bulgaria. After translation by experts, it had been found to say, “Grog getting married. Bring meat.” The author of this article was only kidding with this story, but somewhere there probably is a cave like that. Couples have been inviting loved ones to share in their special day for centuries - long before print invitations were sent through the mail.

After reading the article with the cave painting story, I began to wonder about the actual history of wedding invitations. I was surprised to learn the origin of some of the components of traditional-style invitations still used today. In the mid-1600s invitations were made using metal plate engraving. The text could be transferred from the plate to the invitation, giving it a polished look. However, the ink tended to smudge, so a sheet of tissue paper was placed over-top of the words. Although no longer necessary, many modern invitations still include a sheet of velum.

In the 19^th century, the postal system was sometimes used, but it was unreliable and slow. Double envelopes protected these invitations on their long journey. One envelope was placed inside the other. Upon reaching its destination, the outer envelope was removed by a servant, and the pristine inner envelope was presented to the head of the household. Often, two envelopes are still used today. (Find more facts like this at: http://www.myexpression.com/ArticlesWedding/HistoryOfWeddingInvitations.cfm

Gina and Mike did not choose to include either of these two elements in their wedding invitations. Instead, they decided upon a more modern card-style design. Their invitation design is called Dramatic Roses. Magnetstreet.com has this to say about their choice:

Drama and interest best describes this wedding invitation design. The front side of the folded wedding invitation features vivid red roses surrounding your personal photo. Vibrancy in color continues to be found on the inside with your monogram on the left side, and lightly visible roses with your invitation details atop on the right side. Put additional wedding information on the backside of this stunning folded invitation design. The coordinating RSVP postcard and return address seal complete this gorgeous ensemble.

            With that type of description, who wouldn’t select those invitations? I think the excessive use of adjectives (“vivid, vibrant, stunning, and gorgeous”) really drives the point home that these are the perfect choice! In all seriousness though, the invitations are beautiful and unique, just like the bride herself. To see them, go to: http://www.magnetstreet.com/Dramatic-Roses-Half-fold-Wedding-Invitations

 There is a place on the front to upload a picture of the bride and groom, which adds a nice personal touch. Gina and Mike used this site to create save the date magnets, as well. By sticking these to refrigerator doors, guests are sure to remember the wedding date.

The invitations went out the other day, and ever since my sister has been anxiously awaiting the arrival of the RSVP cards. Gina’s been checking the mailbox as often as Charlie Brown on Valentine’s Day. It reminds me of when she was a kid and she knew that Christmas packages would soon be arriving from out-of-state relatives. Gina loved receiving things by mail and even used to refer to the UPS deliveryman as “the nice man in the brown truck” because he always brought her presents!

I spoke with her on the phone today, and she rattled off the list of people set to attend the wedding. She said that the anticipation of discovering which loved ones would be coming made “every day feel like Christmas.” For those of us who know Gina, we understand exactly how exciting this time is for her.

When we were young, my sister would get so excited waiting for Santa Claus that she would be physically incapable of eating dinner on Christmas Eve. She couldn’t sleep that night either, and would end up in my bedroom, practically bouncing up and down on my bed while asking, “What do you think Santa will bring?” That’s not to say that she was only interested in receiving gifts. Gina really looked forward to watching family members enjoy Christmas morning too.

I suppose that’s what the wedding day will be like, as well. As much as she looks forward to the ceremony itself, Gina’s most excited to share the day with friends and family. I hope that her wedding day is like Christmas morning. I hope that it is a day of celebration, of joy, and of love. If I were writing to Santa this December, I’d ask him to bring our loved ones together for a day that creates memories for years to come. It may be a tall order, but like my sister, I believe. I believe that her excitement will spill over onto those invited, and that Gina will get the gift that she wants most this year. 

Shower Power

Anymore, it seems to be that a party isn’t really a party unless it is centered around some cutesy theme. Have you noticed this? Well, as I was in charge of planning the details of my sister’s bridal shower, I found this to be the case. I discovered that themed parties are so popular that the question is not whether or not to have a theme, but rather what the theme will be. Dozens of websites exist solely to offer suggestions on this topic. (For a sampling, check out: http://www.bridalshowergamesatoz.com/bridal-shower-themes.asp)

People planning bridal showers can choose from themes that center around certain gifts the bride-to-be may want such as kitchen items, gardening tools, supplies to stock a pantry or bar, and even lingerie for the honeymoon. A suggested game for that last theme is called “Wear the Teddy.” For this game, guests are told that there is a teddy inside of a paper bag. They pass the bag around, hot potato style, and whoever gets stuck holding it at the end must wear the teddy. What they don’t know in advance is that the “teddy” is not lingerie, but a stuffed bear. I can just picture my 85 year-old grandma looking horror-struck as the bag is passed her way! I think this is reason #1 why that sort of thing is supposed to be saved for the bachelorette party.

In addition to gifts, showers can also revolve around the theme of food. There are showers that do wine and cheese tasting, and ones that serve chocolate. Some are focused on ice cream, and others feature wine and dessert. As someone who truly enjoys eating, I could totally get into a chocolate party, but, sadly, that theme didn’t seem to completely suit my sister.

I was really stuck. She turned down my idea for a Hollywood movie-themed party, and for a murder mystery party, as well. The well of creativity was beginning to run dry. That is, it seemed to be until I started thinking about the couple’s honeymoon location. Gina and Mike will be visiting New York City at Christmastime. Ever since Gina was a little girl she has wanted to stand before the enormous Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center and go ice skating in the outdoor rink that overlooks it. A destination-themed shower seemed the perfect choice.

For this, I purchased black and white posters of different attractions within the city such as The Empire State Building, The Statue of Liberty, Grand Central Station, and The Brooklyn Bridge. Each is going to be laminated and placed on a table, allowing the guests seated at that particular table to “visit” that location for the duration of the party.

The menu will consist of foods created and popularized in New York. There will be pastrami and Rueben deli sandwiches, Manhattan clam chowder, New York-style cheesecake, Waldorf salad, and maybe even a hot dog stand.

I’m thinking that the games could have something to do with the city too, but I’m not sure how to do that. The party is still three weeks away. I’m planning on asking the other bridesmaids for ideas. I’m sure we can come up with something cute.

 I’m really hoping that this shower will allow the guests to feel like they are sharing a part of the bride’s experience. I know that they will be able to share in her excitement surrounding the upcoming marriage, because, like the Big Apple itself, Gina’s enthusiasm is larger-than-life, B-I-G, BIG!


                                     

                Photo of a bride and groom in Central Park
(This is the picture I put on the invitations I made for my sister's bridal shower)

          

The Book for You Before the I Do's: A Book Review

                                        
              My sister and her fiancé have already successfully gone through a series of premarital counseling sessions, yet they understand the importance of continuing to discover more about their compatibility. For this reason, they are currently reading the non-fiction book Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman. Although its lessons are geared towards people who are contemplating marriage, this book was recommended to me as a single person. I read its text and have reviewed it below. I feel that this book is an exceptional guide for anyone considering marriage at some point in the future.
The review:




Non-fiction book: Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman

Product summary: A relationship blueprint to help you decide if and when you’re ready to tie the knot

Price and distributors: Paperback (176 pgs) retails for $12.99 at all major bookstores, but can be found at http://www.amazon.com/ for $9.35

Rating: 3 out of 4 karats   

        

                In a fairy tale, the story always ends as soon as the couple says ‘I do.’ There is never any mention of how the prince copes with spending Christmas with the wicked stepsisters, or how the princess deals with her new husband’s fondness for saving damsels in distress. In real life, the story continues past the happily ever after, into the marriage itself. Four million Americans get married every year hoping for a happy ending to their story, yet few couples plan past the wedding. As a marriage counselor, pastor, and husband, Dr. Gary Chapman has seen how destructive it can be to enter into a marriage without first learning the skills necessary for building a strong foundation. This best selling author (The Five Love Languages) wrote his newest book, Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married (released on September 1, 2010) in order to spare other couples from entering the pitfalls both he and his clients have experienced.

            Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married is an easy-to-follow guide which encourages dialogue between couples whether they are dating, engaged, or newly married, and gets them asking important questions regarding their compatibility. It also offers practical steps toward working out whatever differences those questions may reveal. Its text not only applies to couples, but to individuals, as well. For single people, this book offers information which will ease the transition from singleness to marriage.

            Each of its twelve chapters covers a lesson which the author wishes he had learned before marriage. The short chapters (under 10 pages each) are brief enough for even the busiest readers to handle, and deal with standard areas of contention such as money, family, and sex. They also cover less conventional topics which range from offering apologies and forgiveness, to deciding who will clean the toilet. Warm and often humorous personal anecdotes introduce each of these topics. The story in the chapter “That Toilets are Not Self Cleaning” is particularly enjoyable. Chapman writes:

In the home in which I grew up, the toilet was never dirty. It never crossed my mind that someone was cleaning it. To this day, I don’t know whether it was my mother or my father cleaning it.  I never saw anyone cleaning the toilet. Two weeks after Karolyn and I got married, I enrolled in graduate school and we lived in student housing. It was a small apartment, but it was clean and nice. About three weeks later, I noticed that the toilet had dark stains. (By this time I knew that toilets had to be cleaned. After all, I was in graduate school.) I mentioned to Karolyn and she said, “I know. I was wondering when you were going to clean it.” “Clean it?!” I said. “I thought you were going to clean it. I don’t know how to clean a toilet.” “Well then, let me teach you,” she said.  (Chapman 76)

Chapman concludes his story with,

Before marriage, I never considered the idea that I would someday be a toilet cleaner… If and when you get married, who do you think will clean the toilet in your apartment or house? I have discovered in premarital counseling that most men think the wife will clean it, while most women think their husband will clean it. Without premarital counseling, most couples never even think about who will clean the toilet and three weeks after the wedding, they too discover that toilets are not self cleaning. (Chapman 77)

            This is an abbreviated version of the anecdote that introduces chapter 7, which stresses the importance of eliminating role confusion over household duties in contemporary marriages. Thought-provoking discussion questions and personal assessments follow this chapter, and each of the 11 others. These questions allow people to not only read the material, but to apply its lessons to their lives.

Because Dr. Chapman is also Senior Associate Pastor of a Christian church, his approach to counseling is based upon Biblical principles. His book includes a chapter titled “That Spirituality is Not to Be Equated with Going to Church,” which asks couples to discuss their religious beliefs both theologically and personally, and to address their spiritual differences. Although this is an important aspect for people of any faith to consider, non-Christians may choose to skip this chapter. It is entirely possible to still take away valuable lessons from the rest of the book. Any other religious reference made in its text illustrates the convictions of the author in a manner which is neither preachy, nor heavy-handed.

This book is geared toward those seeking an introduction to practical marriage tips. It is not meant to replace marriage counseling, and does not delve deeply into how to deal with major and serious conflicts. It does offer helpful lists of websites and books in the appendix for those seeking additional information from other experts in the field of marriage counseling, however.

The best thing about Things I Wish I’d known Before We Got Married is the warm, conversational way in which Dr. Chapman offers advice to his readers, regardless of their level of relationship status or religious beliefs. He shares in his book that he has been counseling couples for over 35 years. In that time, he has seen many marriages fall apart over day-to-day struggles. In the introduction, he explains:

It is my conviction that many struggles could have been avoided, had the couple taken more time to thoroughly prepare for marriage. That is why I am writing this book. I want you to learn from their mistakes. It is much less painful than learning from your own mistakes. I want you to have the kind of loving, supportive, mutually-beneficial marriage that you envision. (Chapman 11)

This book is a worth-while read. Although reading it does not equate with waving a magical wand to eliminate all problems which might arise in a marriage, it does give both couples and singles a good idea of what conflicts they may expect in married life. It also offers practical lessons for dealing with those conflicts. Those lessons just may bring its readers one step closer to the happily ever after that they have always imagined.

This is an audio version of the book's introduction:

Willkommen to Frankenmuth

Willkommen. In German it means welcome.
An offer to come and join in.
Something we don't hear enough of these days.

Well, there is a place that's all about being welcome.
Welcome to family time.
Welcome to playtime.
Welcome to Christmas time all year long.
Welcome to Frankenmuth.

These words grace the homepage of http://www.frankenmuth.org/. Frankenmuth, also known as Michigan’s Little Bavaria, is a local treasure. I learned today the meaning of the town’s name. I’ll file it with the rest of the useless facts that I seem to know. If you’re a fan of random information as well, it may interest you to learn that Franken depicts the province from which the settlers came and Muth means courage in German. The name Frankenmuth means Courage of the Franconians. This town welcomes 3 million annually. As I visit every year, I suppose you could say that I’m one in 3 million.

My family goes to Frankenmuth for dinner and shopping at Christmastime. Since the town is home to Bronner’s, the world’s largest Christmas store, its residents know how to bring magic to the holiday season. Outdoors, Bronner’s Christmas Lane is a half mile of twinkling lights and animated scenes. Inside, moving figurines of busy elves, whimsical animals, and delighted children are displayed all around the store near the ceiling. Even now, all I have to do is look up and I’m instantly put into a state of childlike wonderment. Christmas carols waft over the loudspeakers, and it’s almost like a holiday version of the It’s a Small World ride at Disneyland.

I always loved this part of Frankenmuth, but what I enjoyed even more was the holiday dinner spent with my family. My mom’s brother Gary and his family have lived out of state for as long as I can remember, yet they always managed to come home for Christmas. Together, we’d go to Zehnder’s family restaurant for their world-famous chicken dinner. The meal was always fantastic, but our conversations were even better.

Every year my aunt Chrisanne, a big kid at heart, would make a big deal about the brightly colored plastic animals that topped each sherbet dessert. They reminded her of a childhood spent in Michigan. If any of us were fortunate enough to get a plastic monkey, it was immediately handed over. I remember that one year her shout of joy over this simple pleasure was so loud, that our waiter was inspired to bring her a bowl filled to the brim with a menagerie of plastic creatures. For my aunt, Christmas came a little early that year. I’ll never forget the look of pure bliss upon her face.

When I think of Frankenmuth, I think of my relatives crowded around that table. I recall how my cousins and I would have sword fights with the cherry skewers from our Shirley Temples. I remember feeling so full; we were filled with food and with contentment, as well.

My sister Gina lives in Denver now. Although her fiancé Mike is not from Michigan himself, he just so happens to have relatives in the area. When the couple was looking for a location to house their December wedding reception, a Frankenmuth restaurant was the natural choice. Both the bride and groom have fond memories of holidays spent there. They want to give their friends from Colorado a magical experience to take back home, and this is a place where magic happens.

The reception is going to be held at Sullivan’s Black Forest Brew Haus: http://www.blackforestbrewhaus.net/. I can’t wait to see the ten foot tall Christmas tree reach toward its lodge-style vaulted ceiling. Nor can I wait to have the people I love most under one roof for the celebration. Best of all, our relatives will be flying in for the wedding, so we can eat together in Frankenmuth, just like when my sister and I were small.

This time however, our family will be blended with Mike’s. I’m so excited to share this special place with them. I can think of no better way in which to say, “Willkommen.” Welcome to the party. Welcome to the noisy display with which we like to carry on. Welcome to the site of great old memories, and to the making of wonderful new ones. Welcome to our family.

                            My family at Zehnder's in Frankenmuth, 2009

Top Ten Romantic Proposals Caught On Tape:

If you're looking for more great proposal stories, these are a few romantic videos from some very creative men. The title lists them as the Top 10 Romantic Proposals Caught On Tape, yet 2 are no longer available, so you do the math.

http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/romantic-proposals-caught-on-tape/article117343.html

My personal favorite was called A Navy Proposal. I'll attach it here, as well. I thought it was very romantic:


However, I also really enjoyed A Graduation Proposal (clever), Proposed to on the Set of Scrubs (cool), and An Animated Proposal (entertaining).

The Proposal

There is one question that every woman longs to be asked. It has nothing to do with her age, her weight, or whether or not she would like fries with that. No, this question has just four little words. These have the power to bring a grown man to his knees (literally), and a woman to tears (happily). The question is, “Will you marry me?” and for most women the answer in their head screams, “Well, it’s about time!”

With this in mind, I’m wondering just how important the actual proposal is. Most of the time, the woman already has an answer in mind, and will reply with that regardless of how her man pops the question. She’s probably been thinking about what she would say since sometime around their first date. For her, the real question is not how he will ask, or how she will respond. It is: When will he finally work up the guts to do it?

There are various websites dedicated to coaching a man through this intimidating process.  My favorite is mostly based on its name: The Art of Manliness. http://artofmanliness.com/2008/06/17/the-mans-guide-to-the-perfect-marriage-proposal/ This page, dedicated to all things masculine, includes an article entitled The Man’s Guide to the Perfect Marriage Proposal. The author of the article suggests everything from revisiting the site of the first date to slipping a ring upon the wife-to-be’s finger while she sleeps (Is that sort of creepy, or is it just me?). Although I doubt that my sister’s fiancé Mike visited this particular site, he did choose to go with their first idea.

As Mike is a high school science teacher who is popular with his students, he had volunteered to chaperone the senior prom. Gina went as his date, and on the way they stopped for dinner at The Cheesecake Factory, the site of their first date. This had been my sister’s favorite restaurant for some time. She had always enjoyed the excellent food and warm atmosphere, yet because of Mike, her reasons for loving this place have now changed.

After a romantic dinner for two, the waitress came to take their cheesecake order. She brought menus, but mentioned that there were some new flavors in the display case. Wanting to check these out, Gina and Mike made their way to the case at the front of the restaurant. Gina started at one end of the case, looking everything over, trying to make a decision. The restaurant serves 50 different kinds of cheesecake, so choosing can often be a challenge. Mike asked if anything looked good, but she was still undecided.  

As they made their way toward the other side of the case, Mike pointed out a slice of chocolate cheesecake: http://www.thecheesecakefactory.com/menu/Cheesecake/godiva_chocolate_cheesecake. This piece sat on a plate which had the words, “Gina, will you marry me?” spelled out in chocolate syrup around the edges. The cheesecake was topped with a diamond ring, in place of the traditional chocolate shavings. Mike pointed to the slice and asked, “How about this piece?” The person behind the counter took the plate from the case. Mike removed the ring, and on one knee, proposed in front of the entire restaurant. My sister finally heard the question that she had been waiting for since Mike first came into her life, and of course, her answer was, “Yes!”

Her answer was not in response to the proposal itself, but to the man doing the asking. That “yes” was the first to be uttered from a series of promises. The rest of which, she will pledge to Mike on December 18^th.  On that day, I’m sure that her new favorite question will become, “Will you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?” And unlike the nerve-wracking night of his proposal, Mike should have no doubt as to what her answer will be.

                                 

Wedding Thriller Video:

I, personally, as a child of the 80s, think that this is awesome, but I'll let you judge for yourself. Here's the video I wrote about in the previous post: